Jasmine Hart

I knew a pearl lay on the ocean sand, And, fool that I am, I coveted it. With my plan half-formed and my heart in hand I convinced the inky ...

The first thing I'm going to tell you is to show me, not to tell me. Instead of telling me that you find night frightening, suggest it to me through ...

Nice one Claudette. I love how the tone contrasts with the theme. I think some of your rhythm is a little off, though. Try reading it aloud so that you ...

Hey, look what I found! :) I love your theme and imagery. I'm not so sure about the archaic style. I know that's what you intended to do, so I ...

Abigail The company was keeping me grounded. I could feel my world fragmenting, every shard ricotting off in a different direction. I had gotten my wish. I could stay where ...

Lovely, Matt, as usual. I think that some of your rhythm is a bit off though. I think I'd add a couple of syllabyls to the second line. Maybe try ...

Abigail I ran the base of my palm up my forehead, then shook my head. "I'm afraid that's not possible." I murmered weakly. I'd just seen him. Under the wheels ...

Thanks. I'm not sure what your plan is, or exactly what has happend, so I'll keep this both brief and vague. Abigail I dropped to my knees beside the carriage, ...

Um...help? :( Don't know why it is that I can't do this story...maybe it's because it moves quicker than I'm used to, or maybe Abigail is too passive, or maybe ...

Keturah I was impressed but I didn't show it. Maybe Slit wasn't such a burden after all. I shook my head, hating to have to ask for advice. "How do ...

Brigid "Girl!" Anchorless called. "Which one?" Siofra snapped. "We have names. You'd think that..." I elbowded her to make her shut up. "I don't care, either. I need one of ...

Overall, you handled the sonnet form very well, which is brilliant. I think the first line reads a bit awkwardly. I'd reverse it so that it reads; "Summer is the ...

This is lovely, Meep. The rhythm is good, the flow is good, and I love what you've said. I can't fault it. Wish I could be more helpful... Jas

This was cute. I'd change the punctuation in the first stanza to: "Who made these footsteps in the sand, Soon to be washed away by the sea?" (Think the slight ...

Yay! Well done! That's some acheivementLook forward to taking a peek at some stage. Congrats. Jas